♕ NINTH COMMAND | ACTION [OLIVINE CITY] | FOURTH WALL

[determinator]

[If you happen to be exploring Olivine City today, you may run into Archer. That's really not all that unusual - contrary to popular belief, he does spend some time outdoors (some being the key word there) - but what's striking about it is... well, the insane number of cats following him.]

Where did you all even come from...?

[They're all the little cats rather than the larger ones. That means there's a herd of wild Meowth, Glameow, Skitty, Shinx, and Purrloin following Archer around. He loves cats, sure, but this is a bit much!]

[...He may or may not have started carrying around one of those Purrloin though. It's only because he doesn't have one, it's not like he actually likes it or anything...!!]

Comments

[determinator]

...You want to catch it.

[...Oh lord, this is going to be hilarious.]

Alright, then. Good luck.

[Here, you can have a Pokéball, Kimbley! No seriously, he wants to see this.]

[alchemicals]

[Fuck yeah! \o/

...uh.]

...so do I seriously just throw this thing at that thing's face and hope it stays in there, or...?

[determinator]

[Aww, you're smarter than he figured. Well, seeing you battle would be pretty hilarious too so...]

Here, use Gambit.

[The Snivy is relatively low-leveled and she's... well, she's still a bbthing, so she won't do a ton of damage. Perfect for catching jellyfish!]

She knows Tackle, Vine Whip, and Wrap - those are the best moves to use.

[Don't mind her, she'll just sit here and judge you, Kimbley!]

[alchemicals]

[...........]

You are such an asshole.

[All right, aside from questioning why this little lizard-thing isn't just...sinking into the battlefield, he'll just be...trying to work out what to do with it.]

...use Vine Whip on it, I guess?

[No, really, is that how it works? You...tell it to do shit and it does it?]

[determinator]

[Smirking like a douchebag~ You know it bb~]

[...And clearly she's magical? He has no idea. These battlefields are weird, just roll with it.]

[Gambit spares her trainer a "are you shitting me" look before turning around and spontaneously sprouting vines from her back to attack the Tentacool.]

Once you've cut its health down a bit you can try catching it.

[So how do you like commanding your little army, Kimbley?]

[alchemicals]

Holy shit, that's...!

[Wow, excuse the laughter there, though it's probably all the answer you need.]

That's so awesome, I -

[Okay, yeah, the jellyfish is now spitting what looks like some sort of acid shit at it, which should probably be a bit disconcerting, but the result is...more maniacal laughter.

GREATEST COOL, ARCHER!!!!!!!!]

Come on, use Wrap on it or something, I want to see what it does.

[determinator]

[Oh come on, you haven't even met that moron!!]

[It's good that Kimbley approves though! Both Archer and Gambit are smirking like douches at that. The Snivy nods at the command and uses those vines to squeeze that poor goddamn Tentacool; the Acid attack wasn't very pretty, but she's still standing!]

I didn't realize you'd enjoy it this much.

[Come on Johto, won't you let him stay permanently? Please??]

[alchemicals]

[MORE LAUGHTER BECAUSE YES

REALLY, ARCHER, THIS MIGHT BE WHY HE CAN'T STAY PERMANENTLY, BECAUSE HOLY SHIT NO ONE WOULD HAVE NICE THINGS ANYMORE

JUST SAYING]

Why wouldn't I?!

[...that said, he is pretty content to just let the vinebeast torture the shit out of this poor sorry bitch of a jellyfish

oh my god this is awesome]

And you get to do this all the time?

[determinator]

[NO BUT IT WOULD BE SO AWESOME, JOHTO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND]

Yes, of course. The stronger the Pokémon, the more interesting the battle. There are all sorts of interesting things you can do with these moves.

[........]

In fact, not all that long ago Team Rocket had us attack an incredibly rare and powerful Pokémon called Suicune. Apparently it's the only one of its kind and it was very strong.

[Smirking. Like a douche.]

[alchemicals]

You get to have all the fun, seriously.

[You can have that incredibly douchey smirking returned, actually.

...oh, right, he's supposed to be catching this thing, isn't he? Not just...beating the shit out of it, um. Well! It looks kind of like it hates everything its life has decided to be and that Wrap has it squealing like a motherfucker, so.]

...I just...throw this thing at it, then?

[determinator]

[He doesn't respond to that; he's not sure what to say to it. Yes, this is fun. But it would be a hell of a lot more fun if Kimbley could stay permanently.]

[...Then again, Johto would be destroyed in a week once Kimbley got his hands on something powerful enough.]

Yes, you shouldn't have any problems catching it.

[That's also the most sadistic Snivy ever, she's having a grand old time squeezing that poor Tentacool.]

[alchemicals]

[...he approves of your Snivy's message, man.

But yes! He actually will end the poor damn thing's misery soon enough; he'll let the Snivy continue for a moment before just...kind of zinging that ball at that goddamn jellyfish.

After a moment of staring at it and trying to figure out why they don't just design these things with some sort of locking device so they don't wobble around like that...]

Hell yes!

[...congratulations, Kimbley, your first capture. Clearly, a Pokémon master is you.]

[determinator]

[After awhile you just learn not to question anything and write it off as Johto-logic. It's almost as flawed as Archer-logic. Almost.]

Congratulations. What are you going to name it?

[He is so proud of you, bb!]

[alchemicals]

[And you can just have the most prompt answer on the planet!]

Veronica.

[determinator]

...Veronica.

[..............]

...You planned this out?

[..............]

...Why Vernoica?

[alchemicals]

I didn't plan anything. She just looks like a Veronica.

[determinator]

...If you say so...

[............]

I feel bad for any Veronicas you knew if they looked like that.

[alchemicals]

I haven't known any that I really remember, don't worry.

[determinator]

...So she's not named after anyone. She just... looks like a Veronica.

[...What does he do with you, bb...]

[alchemicals]

That's what I said. She looks like a Veronica.

[determinator]

[...You are such a herpderp...]

If you say so. Well, you're now the proud owner of a Tentacool. What will you do next?

[alchemicals]

Train it, I guess.

[Well, the more valid answer is "Clutch that Pokéball like he's never letting go and kind of grin like a maniac again," but...details.]

[determinator]

[Oh bb... don't worry, he's not going to take your jellyfish.]

You'll need to heal it first. Come on, let's go to the Pokémon Center.

[And off we go! Keep up now, bbthing!]

[alchemicals]

[Hang on, hang on, he's currently soaking wet and trying not to run into any more...invisible jellyfish in the shallows.

That said, however, he doesn't seem to mind the fact that he's still dripping up a storm once he's on the beach; he takes about thirty seconds to wring out that...skirt-thing on the uniform before he just shrugs, seeming to say "fuck it" before moving on.]

Thanks for that, by the way.

[determinator]

[...You're going to drip everywhere...]

For what?

[As far as he's concerned, he didn't do anything. Gambit did most of the work, and she's very happily keeping pace with Kimbley. She seems to have decided he's okay.]