♕ NINTH COMMAND | ACTION [OLIVINE CITY] | FOURTH WALL

[determinator]

[If you happen to be exploring Olivine City today, you may run into Archer. That's really not all that unusual - contrary to popular belief, he does spend some time outdoors (some being the key word there) - but what's striking about it is... well, the insane number of cats following him.]

Where did you all even come from...?

[They're all the little cats rather than the larger ones. That means there's a herd of wild Meowth, Glameow, Skitty, Shinx, and Purrloin following Archer around. He loves cats, sure, but this is a bit much!]

[...He may or may not have started carrying around one of those Purrloin though. It's only because he doesn't have one, it's not like he actually likes it or anything...!!]

Comments

[determinator]

[YES, YES YOU DID]

[And he loves pettings! He'll take all the pettings and will purr really loudly!]

[...Archer thought he was a fox, not a cat...]

Well, he doesn't seem to like most people.

[...Rude little bitch.]

[alchemicals]

[Yeah, he's pretty sure he knows what you mean by "most people."]

Ah, come on, they're not that hard to take care of. If I can manage it, I don't get why you can't.

[determinator]

Well, the ones that don't like me seem to adore you.

[Opposites attract or something??]

I take excellent care of them. It's hardly my fault they don't like me.

[As if to prove that point, Bishop turns and sticks his tongue out at Archer. Ugh. So rude.]

[alchemicals]

Hey, a lot of animals tend to hate me. I don't know why yours don't.

[...although he has to laugh at the rude little thing there, good god.]

All right, this one has a bit of an attitude on him. But still. It's kind of cute.

[pettings tho]

[determinator]

I don't know why either.

[It's not like he's spent hours talking about you and telling his Pokémon stories of your adventures or anything!!!]

He's quite rare; I haven't seen any others of his species at all here. They have the ability to transform into other people and Pokémon.

[Hopefully he'll be more useful in the future... And Bishop loves the pettings! Omg sir, you are so awesome, let him rub all over you!!!]

Sadly enough, he's not as terrible as Kimblee. The ah, cat. It's named after the other version of you.

[....orz]

[alchemicals]

[...Ar...cher...]

...you...named a cat after some version of me.

[.......]

That's really horrible on a lot of levels, isn't it?

[determinator]

Well. He's a bitchy cat who wears makeup, it was perfect.

[...........]

Besides, he returned the favor. He named a gay ballerina after me.

[LINEFACE. And this is totally not trying to deflect from the fact that yes, that's incredibly morbid and he might miss you far more than he lets on!]

[alchemicals]

...what the hell do you two even get up to here?

[determinator]

[Oh what is that look for?]

What do you mean? We train Pokémon and spend the majority of our time coming up with new and creative ways to insult one another.

[alchemicals]

Gay ballerinas aren't exactly the first thing that come to mind when I think of you, Archer. And this one wears makeup?

[...oh god, you guys are totally fucking now, aren't you?]

[determinator]

Well, no, of course not. It's a very effeminate Pokémon that... wears a dress. The idea is that it's nothing like me.

[...Totally.]

He does, yes; he wears eyeliner. I still have no idea why he does it; he looks fine without it.

[He's... really not helping this image at all, is he.]

[alchemicals]

He looks...fine...with-

[Archer...]

You know, if you've gotten yourself a boyfriend here or something you can just tell me.

[determinator]

...What?

[Headtilt? No seriously, where the hell did you get this idea?]

We're not dating. I'm not interested in him. Why would you assume that?

[alchemicals]

You're not?

[THIS IS NEWS.]

You talk about him like you're together or something, that's all.

[determinator]

[For once you're not the only one herping hard, bbthing!]

No...? We're close, yes, but we're not dating. He's straight and I'm disinterested.

[...in everyone but you. Not that he's going to say that.]

[...Though wouldn't it be better to talk about it now, while he has the chance? Won't he want to kick himself later for not saying anything? At the same time, that would make this incredibly awkward... He'll keep quiet. Maybe he'll tell you about it before you leave in a few days.]

[Maybe.]

[alchemicals]

Wait, so you're interested in guys?

[Seriously, no one tells him this shit.]

I mean, I thought that if you were dating him it'd be more of a...I don't know, "If it's you it's okay" sort of thing.

[determinator]

Oh no, not at all. I've never liked women.

[Eww, tits.]

He's interesting and he's... my friend, I suppose, but I don't ever have any intention of dating him. That would make things awkward between us.

[...And we're kind of codependent little things and that wouldn't work all that well. :| ]

[alchemicals]

[...mature, Archer...

At the same time, there is this huge sense of "Ohhhh", because that actually does make sense. Kinda.]

So is he one of those people that you know too well? Where you're friends and all, but there's no way you'd consider because it'd be like dating a sibling or something?

[determinator]

I suppose. I obviously don't have any siblings so I can't say if the relationship would be that close, but yes; I do know him too well for that sort of thing.

[...he doesn't really like the implications there. Have you had this feeling, Kimbley? ...Is it towards him?]

I take it you've experienced this, then?

[alchemicals]

Personally? No, but I've heard people talk about it.

[determinator]

[That's a relief. Archer relaxes a bit at that.]

Well, yes, that sounds like what it is. Besides, he'd make a horrible partner; he's a bit... well, he doesn't feel things in quite the same way you or I do.

[alchemicals]

Really? Huh.

[Kimbley's pretty aware that he and Archer don't feel anything halfway normal anyway - the feelings are there, yeah, but they aren't exactly...right in the way they come out. So if this one is...

...oooh, he's broken, okay. Right.]

But he's still being decent to you?

[determinator]

[Oh come on now, don't be mean. He's just different.]

Yes, he is. He's very good to me.

[alchemicals]

[And suddenly, this is the most awkward moment on the planet.]

...good.

[...]

That's...really good to know, Archer.

[determinator]

[...Whoa, who turned up the awkward in here...?]

I suppose it is, yes. What is it, Kimbley?

[You're not getting away with that. :| Only he's allowed to amp up the awkward levels!]